Modern Conservatism Is Dead

There has been a lot of uproar from the right ever since Barack Obama was elected President in 2008. Even now, over a year after he left office, conservatives are still pissing and moaning about Obama, Hillary, and liberals in general.

News flash: liberals aren't going away. After all, everything that has moved this country forward -- from the repeal of slavery to equal credit and pay for women -- has been an issue pushed out there by liberals. Sometimes Republican, sometimes Democrat, but liberal.



Conservatives, on the other hand, have been on the losing side of every single one of these battles. Decrying the repeal of slavery on the grounds that African-Americans were just too simple to understand how to take care of themselves, gosh darn it, so it was the job of whites to take care of them, and what better way to do that than to treat them like property and abuse them with no repercussions? Complaining that women were biologically unsuited to voting. Demanding that "separate but equal" be treated as a valid option instead of the blatant discrimination that it was. Preaching abstinence as the only acceptable form of sex education because if you give teenagers anything more then they will only go out there and use it, whereas if the don't know in the first place then they won't be able to have sex, right? I know that approach worked smashingly for me and my friends in high school. No, really. We spent our time in prayer circles, meditating on how we were saving ourselves for marriage (understand, "prayer circles" actually means "playing in a band in my friend's basement" and "meditating" means "trying to figure out how to get as many naked women there as we possibly could," and "saving ourselves for marriage" is translated as "marriage? That's, like, a million years away but I want someone to touch my winkie NOW.").

What I have not been able to understand -- ever -- is how social conservatives think that endless shrieking, countless personal attacks against liberals, and distortion of facts that ranges from mild spin to outright fabrication is ever going to accomplish their goals ... or even if they know what those goals are in the first place.

So far, all I have seen from the right is reactionary, knee-jerk crap. The days of conservatism being the home of a philosophy of limited government are over, thanks to the religious right and the NRA. "Limited government is fine," they seem to say, "except when it interferes with making the rich even richer and dumbing down the population so they become stupid, compliant serfs." Then we see things like anti-sodomy laws, which are intended to police how individuals engage in private sexual activity (never mind that the question of personal privacy as a Fourth Amendment right was settled in Griswold v. Connecticut in 1965; after all, that only applies to heterosexual white males), or travel bans that prohibit entry from "countries that are state sponsors of terrorism," even though places like Saudi Arabia were omitted and there was a carveout for Christians.

It has played out like this since the founding of the nation. Liberals propose an idea to improve the lives of the average American, and conservatives immediately start running around with their hair on fire, claiming it is going to undo the family/Constitution/society/our economy/our very existence. They then spend the next several weeks, months, or even years creating these false narratives (Obamacare death panels, you ain't comin' fer MAH guns, and so on), even going so far as to fabricate complete untruths to further their position.

Fully 81% of NRA members nationwide support sensible gun control legislation, for example, but the NRA does not represent those members ... it represents gun manufacturers, ammunition manufacturers, and whoever else can afford to pay for their lobbying. Over 60% of Americans feel that abortion is not an issue that should be regulated by the government, yet you still keep trying to ban it.

For cryin' out loud, it was you guys who got "under God" inserted into the Pledge of Allegiance, even though it could be construed as a violation of the Establishment Clause of the First Amendment.

Give it up, guys.

You are obsolete. You are no longer relevant. Take your bow, exit the stage, and enjoy your retirement in some gated community in Boca Raton. Just stop wasting our time, and let the adults handle things from here on out.

I gotta lie down.

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